Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
