I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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