You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
