She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
