if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
