Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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