You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
