we're blogging at a bar
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
