Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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