You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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