He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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