We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
