A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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