i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
