Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
