Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
