I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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