i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
