Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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