It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
