you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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