Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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