Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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