Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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