I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
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Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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