Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
