Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
