and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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