and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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