Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
