So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
