So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
only if we run a train.
done.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
