Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again

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(732): View more from New Jersey

90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did

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(860): View more from Connecticut

its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...

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(214): View more from Texas

Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?

(281): View more from Texas

If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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(360): View more from Washington

For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head

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(954): View more from Florida

Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.

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