I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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