The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize