i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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