It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
