the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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