apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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