So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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