Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
