Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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