So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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