I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
