I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
