I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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