Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
