We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he thought i was a dude.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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