if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
