we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
