in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
