So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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