they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
