so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
