Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
