oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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