so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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