Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
