i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize