Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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