so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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