just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
