i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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