Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
