dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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