mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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