whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
